Playing With Fire (Sweet Redemption) Read online

  Then she decided she was being silly again. She was a big girl—she could handle whatever came her way.

  She looked around.

  She didn’t see him immediately, her eyes instead locking with the secretary’s, whose name she couldn’t remember at the moment.

  Still, she walked over to the group the secretary had just shared a laugh with.

  “What did you guys think of the meatballs?” Janet asked.

  Silence followed for a few awkward seconds.

  Then the group did what she suddenly realized they always did.

  “Not too fond of those,” a guy she remembered as Leroy said in a light tone.

  “Oh, I’m a vegetarian so I didn’t try those,” the secretary said with a bright smile.

  “Yeah, Brenda couldn’t eat most of what was here,” a girl with auburn hair said, and Janet was relieved she had mentioned the secretary’s name.

  She felt quite clearly they were all just obliging her, being nice as a result of her strong connections. They said the right things and smiled appropriately, but she felt no genuine warmth from them.

  But why would she? She never really had a reason to speak to them so they weren’t all that familiar with each other.

  Liz had always been all she needed. And her mother.

  All Janet was there for was to prove to her father she was a worthy heir anyway.

  “Hey Janet, your dad ditched us again tonight?” a voice behind her said, spinning her attention away from the grateful group who locked right back into their circle.

  “Oh hey Carl. My dad’s a busy man. We’ll see him at the Christmas party as usual—that’s all I can promise. He’s probably in China right now, working on a deal.”

  “I know that’s right,” Carl said before catching the eye of, then waving at someone else.

  He grabbed her arm.

  “Girl, I’ll catch you later. I’ve got things to see and people to do,” he said with a longing look at one of the new guys trying to look inconspicuous and failing, sipping his drink alone.

  “I didn’t hear that Carl.”

  Janet was never sure what to think of Carl. He seemed to always want to be her friend and treated her like they already were, but she didn’t trust him—didn’t trust most folks who tried to cozy up to her since it was probably an attempt to climb their way up. She had no interest in being used.

  Janet walked over to the drink table to pour herself some lemonade.

  “So we know we can at least find reception rooms together. This should work out.”

  The voice made Janet’s cup freeze on the way to her mouth.

  She turned.

  “Eric, right? Yes, I’m sure we’ll be able to work well together.”

  “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

  “I trust HR. Generally. I mean, you don’t quite look like a numbers guy but...”

  “And what does one look like?”

  “I don’t know...black-rimmed glasses, a pot belly...something like that.”

  His laugh thrilled her, so warm and genuine.

  She was glad she could bring some other kind of humor to their interactions beyond acting like a fool.

  “Well, for the record, you don’t look like a typical numbers person either.”

  Janet returned his soft smile.

  “So is this what you imagined in college or high school? Working in some stuffy building, attending lame receptions?” she asked him, relaxing.

  “Sort of. What about you? Fitting right into your father’s shoes?”

  Janet didn’t know why, but she immediately got angry. She knew he probably meant nothing by it but she couldn’t curb her feeling of offense.

  Then she realized she liked the feeling—anger made her feel more in control.

  “I’m very much my own woman thank you very much. Anyway, I appreciate the chit-chat. I’m sure we’ll learn a lot more about each other in the coming months—our childhood dreams and whatnot.”

  “I’m sure we will,” she heard him say as she walked off.

  As she headed toward the elevator, Janet wondered if her father, despite all that he’d built, still felt some level of discomfort in such situations, and if that was why he tended to stay away from most of the minor social functions. Perhaps they were alike in that way at least.

  No one is busy all the time, she thought as she performed her own disappearing act.

  ***

  Janet hated taxis. As convenient as they could be, she hated putting her ass on places where hundreds of thousands—perhaps millions—of butts had sat before. She hated the way they were structured like cop cars with their boxy frames and their harsh front/back divisions, and she hated their stupid colors.

  Still, she didn’t know what she’d do without them at times.

  As she stood on the sidewalk, about to put her best flagging arm forward, a voice said:

  “Need a lift?” A husky voice that had become somewhat familiar.

  Janet briefly turned to look in its direction.

  “I’ve got this, thank you,” she said, trying more desperately to get a taxi’s attention.

  “Come on—we’re partners now right? How would it look if I just let you rely on a stranger to get you home safely?”

  “You’re a stranger.”

  “True, but less so than that Eritrean guy about to pull up, no?”

  Janet had no comeback.

  “Fine,” she said. “I appreciate it...partner.”

  They walked over to his car.

  As they came upon it, lights flashing from the remote unlock, Janet couldn’t help assessing his choice of vehicle, combing through the implications—making more of her new partner with his choice: a solid, practical silver sedan. Newer model.

  Nothing flashy or expensive, or even mid-priced. Just...solid—a brand well-known for its reliability, yet the better looking of the models.

  He opened her door for her and she slid in, mumbling a “thanks.”

  As they pulled up to her condo, she found herself asking:

  “Wanna come in for a drink?” as a sort of joke—certainly not as something she thought he would actually take her up on.

  “Yeah I would, thanks,” he replied, and Janet panicked.

  “What am I saying?” she said. “I can’t have you drinking, then driving. I was just trying to...”

  “I know,” he said. His eyes twinkled as if he had been pulling her leg all along. “I appreciate it.”

  Janet felt bad for taking back her offer, but she didn’t know this guy! All she knew was that someone had found him, and thought they’d be a good fit as coworkers.

  “Well, someday perhaps, after a long day of brainstorming some aspect of our project, and my best friend has left me without a ride again.”

  She smiled at him.

  For once, he seemed to have lost his perpetual grin.

  “I look forward to working with Janet,” he said as she got out.

  “Likewise,” she replied, enjoying the feel of power for once. She closed his door, waved, then headed to her house.

  ***

  Janet opened her door, flipped on the light, then gasped in amazement.

  The room was filled with flowers: the reds, pinks, creams and whites of roses and carnations.

  She didn’t even think about where they’d come from, so struck was she by their beauty.

  Then David emerged from the floral display.

  “Jan, listen to me...”

  “Really David? Really? I’m going to have you charged with breaking and entering—you need to turn in all the keys you have to my place David.” Better yet, she would just change the locks. Clearly that was the only way to keep him out.

  Part of her wished she had let Eric come in after all; she felt less and less safe around David.

  How had he done all of this so quickly? she wondered. She’d only been gone three hours!

  “Jan,” he said, coming toward her, and she backed up until her shoulder blades conn
ected with the door.

  He grabbed her hands.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “Do you? Is that what you call it when you start seeing someone behind my back? Someone you told Liz was your sister when she spotted you? Someone I have photos of you kissing not like a sister at all? Is it love for me you feel when you’re banging her? Look, just get out of here, I’m serious—I don’t ever want to see you again, and nothing you say is going to change that!”

  Her heart beat faster as she felt more and more claustrophobic trapped between him and the door. She turned to twist out of the confined space, attempting to wrench her hands away from his yet again when she felt a knock behind her.

  She felt David freeze, as did she.

  “Who is it?” she asked, mad that her voice sounded like a scared little girl’s. She watched David’s eyes as she said it, and watched them harden in anger at the response.

  “It’s me, Rick. You left your jacket in my car.”

  Still looming over her, David looked through her peephole, loosening his grip enough that she pulled away from it and immediately opened the door, not caring if he got hit with it.

  “Thanks,” she said as she reached out, intending to grab the item then close the door but David held it open.

  “Well, well, well,” David said. “Who do we have here?”

  “This is my...wait a minute—I don’t owe you an explanation! You need to leave David—quick, while the door’s open.”

  “Let me get this straight—you accuse me of cheating, yet you’ve got this guy sneaking around...”

  “Okay, first of all? I don’t need to sneak—you and I are done. We’ve been done for weeks now. So this—which isn’t what you think—isn’t any of your business anyway.”

  “I think you should do what the lady says,” Eric said from behind her, and his voice, usually so velvety yet rumbling suddenly had a different quality to it.

  The image of two rams about to lock horns passed through Janet’s brain.

  David looked directly at Eric and folded his arms.

  “And what are you going to do about it?”

  Eric moved so fast, he was suddenly right in front of David before she’d even registered the slate grey of his suit whizzing by.

  “I don’t think you’d really like to find out,” Eric said, and Janet, for at least the third time that night thought she had surely melted into a puddle.

  David sneered, and although he didn’t look fazed, stepped back, putting space between him and Eric.

  Janet realized Eric had a few inches of height on David, as well as breadth.

  “Fine,” David said, stepping around Eric. “I’ll let this go for now.”

  Once he had reached outside the door, he said:

  “Do what you have to do to feel we’re even Janet, but we’re not done yet.”

  Janet shut the door, letting out a huge breath.

  “Oh my god, I can’t even believe that just happened,” she said quietly. “I’m so sorry you had to see that—he’s just..nuts.”

  “Then I’m glad I was here.”

  “He just won’t get it! He won’t leave me alone, and he won’t turn in my keys...”

  “You need to change your locks Janet.”

  “I know. I will.”

  “No, I mean now. Sooner than later. You yourself said he was crazy. I can’t leave you here in good conscience, knowing a crazy person has access to you, and I really don’t see how you can be so casual about it.”

  “Well he’s not actually crazy. He’s ultimately harmless—just not over the fact that we’re finished. Maybe he’s too arrogant to believe I could actually be done with him, I don’t know, but I don’t think I’m in any real danger.”

  “I’m not convinced unfortunately. Is there someone you can call? There’s gotta be a locksmith on duty somewhere. Go on—check the yellow pages, ask Siri—whatever you have to do. I’ll wait.”

  “You can’t be serious—I’ll just do this tomorrow.”

  “I’m very serious, and I’m not leaving until you do.”

  He headed over to her couch and sat down.

  Were the men around her all losing their minds? What was with them all of a sudden pretending she hadn’t spoken? Like her words had turned into air? She was Leonard Cooper’s daughter damn it!

  Still, she decided to oblige Eric; having him around was more dangerous than David coming around as far as she was concerned.

  “I didn’t even realize there were 24-hour lock services,” she said as she quickly and easily found one.

  Eric just looked at her from her couch.

  True to his word, he stayed there as she waited for the locksmith.

  He accepted her offer of water, but mostly sat silently watching her as she fumbled around trying to find something to do, a way to calm her nerves.

  She had had at least three cups of water by now and had smelled and molested several roses.

  She had no intention of removing the flowers until they were all wilting—the arrangements were too beautiful, even if from a slime-ball.

  The silence frayed her nerves further.

  “You know, you have some nerve...” she began.

  “Janet, guys like him—he wasn’t kidding. That’s not the last time he’s gonna try. You think you’re safe around him, but think about how many women must have thought that before something dire occurred. I’m just looking out for you...partner.”

  Once again, Janet was shamed.

  “I know you have no reason to trust me yet,” he continued, “but for now, just do. I promise you I’m out of here once the locks are done, and I won’t be taking off with a key.”

  Janet all of a sudden felt emotional.

  She mumbled: “excuse me, restroom” before taking off.

  He was just trying to be nice to her—why was she always on the verge of being bitchy? Was she just a bitch after all?

  As she leaned against the bathroom door, she took a breath and ran over the day again and concluded it had simply been unusually eventful and taxing on her emotions. From the shock and fear of David’s incessant attempts at contact, to showing up uninvited in her home, to the fear of another kind—meeting a hunk she was supposed to work with for the next few months and somehow keep her three-month vow of abstinence. Then there was the momentary feeling of isolation after Liz left the reception, the almost-fight with her best friend over her own love life problems.

  She took another breath and exited the bathroom, amazed that she had been so emotionally distracted, she had left a stranger alone in part of her house.

  Eric appeared to have calmly stay put, still in the same place she’d left him.

  She appreciated him not snooping—not that she had anything embarrassing around—only her college graduation photo was in plain sight since she had gotten rid of all the photos of her and David. Other than that, there was a photo of her and her dad in the kitchen.

  The photos of her mom she kept close to her, in her bedroom. And sometimes, when she felt emotionally vulnerable like she did now, she held a photo of her as she worked through her feelings.

  She figured she’d be doing that after Eric left tonight.

  “Thanks again for...” She was interrupted by a knock on the door.

  The locksmith most likely, but she looked through the peephole to make sure.

  Eric got up and came closer to the door.

  She let the locksmith in, and for a moment thought Eric would take over the transaction, but he simply greeted the locksmith, then inclined his head toward her as he said:

  “I’m just the bodyguard,” with a slight smile.

  Janet took over from there.

  True to his word, once the locksmith was done and had left, she saw Eric preparing to leave and felt her heart drop a little.

  He came right up to her, grabbed her hands and kissed her on the cheek.

  “You take care of yourself Janet, I’ll see you on Monday,” he said as he opened the door, and his
eyes lingered on her just a little too long for her to feel sturdy. Then he turned around and left.

  Suddenly Janet was wondering how she’d make it through the rest of the weekend without seeing his face.

  CHAPTER TWO: NIGHT REVELATIONS

  How did this happen? Janet thought as she tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

  She had loved being with David, loved him as a person, but with the knowledge and humiliation of his affair, everything she felt for him nearly immediately disappeared, replaced by hurt and anger, then later, disgust and disdain.

  The two of them had been growing apart for a while, she realized; despite saying ‘yes’ to his marriage proposal, she kept putting off any wedding planning, refusing to acknowledge to herself that she didn’t really want to go through it. From somewhere inside, she knew it wasn’t right.

  But now, almost as quickly as she had disentangled herself from David, she was enraptured with Eric, although she knew the swiftness of it wasn’t the odd part—people got instantaneous crushes all the time. But so soon after a serious, three-year relationship?

  Was Eric just a rebound guy? A matter of convenience? A way to work through whatever lingering emotions she had left?

  “Mommy, I wish you were here,” she said out loud in a strained whisper, her voice constrained by tears held back.

  Then she could hold them back no more.

  Take it easy baby, she imagined her mom saying. One day at a time.

  Janet was unsure exactly why she was crying, but she figured it had to be a simple release from a long, hard day.

  Then she realized what else was making her break down, and it wasn’t just loneliness.

  She felt vulnerable again. In trouble. Like someone had snatched all her shields away.

  She had been able to keep herself safe, guarded for a long time with David, and the emotional distance she maintained helped her bounce back from his betrayal.

  Since she didn’t really want him, his infidelity ultimately didn’t matter. The time spent on guys before him—their transgressions and sins against her didn’t really matter either; she never cared enough about keeping any of them.

  But just like that Eric snuck in, unannounced, unassuming, and he carried with him a force more than capable of breaking down her carefully built fortress.